My praises unto Thee

I can't do this on my own.
O, I can't do this on my own!
Hope seems faint.
Please bring reality.
I'm just a broken saint
struggling with a dichotomy
between troubled concern and apathy.

O, comfort seems so distant
and I want peace this instant,
but I remember what you've done.
You fought these same battles
and you won.

I can't forget what you said
because I can't disregard a man that once was dead.
You said you'd always be there,
but sometimes life seems too hard to bare
and I forget that you care.

Please be gentle
for I am weak.
I know you're merciful
even when things look bleak.

So I pray
that this pain and sorrow
that's here today
can be used tomorrow
for me to say,
"that's my Christ whom you should follow".
Because when my hope began to decay,
and I would weep and wallow
in my sorrow and my misery,
my God was there to swallow death with victory.
I'm no longer hollow for Jesus saved me.

I was chained to my pain,
but my cries were not in vain.
Jesus came and broke my chains.
I will sing to my King
for I am free.
My praises unto Thee,
God almighty, for eternity!

Isolation Kingdom

There's a book called Into the Wild.  It's a true story about a guy who left his family and all real connection with people and lived the life of a vagabond.  He ends up in the Alaskan wilderness where he dies.  I think the most memorable thing from the book is something that the guy actually wrote in his Journal: "Happiness only real when shared."

After pushing everyone and everything away, he found himself alone.  I think that he desired to be alone.  Once he finally arrived at nearly the epitome of solitude, he felt lonesome and took note of it.  He may have been searching for happiness, but when he got to the place that he thought he would find it he was severely disappointed.  He died alone in the cold of the Alaskan wilderness alone and unhappy.  He starved to death out there.  But food was not the only thing in which he found himself starved.  He had ripped out community.  He had ripped out family.  He had ripped out friendship.  He had ripped out communication.  He had ripped out love.  Oh the emptiness he must have felt!  He had no source of replenishment.  When he found himself completely drained, he had no support, nothing to give him hope.  A note was found at his base camp.  It was an urgent plea for any passerby to stay put until he returned again.  That note wasn't found until it was too late. 

Pushing people and problems away is never a solution.  Life cannot be sustained in solitude.  Happiness, however temporary, is found in community.  The traveler had chose solitude, but what if solitude is not a choice?  What if you are the one who is abandoned?  What happens when you are deserted and are on empty?  How do you refuel when you can't pick yourself up and you're all alone?

After Jesus's resurrection, at the very end of Matthew 28 Jesus says that he is always with us.  This statement would be empty if it came from anyone other than Jesus.  The man was just brutally killed and was as dead as can be.  And yet, Jesus was there, alive in every sense of the word.  Not only that, but he had just announced his authority.  I'm led to believe him completely.

Isolation is not an option.  Jesus has shown us the importance of community.  The good that comes from it is undeniable.  A community that can bear each others burdens and help each other pull through the most difficult times is one to be sought after.  However, when we find ourselves all alone we should be reminded that we are never truly alone.  Jesus is with us.  If we reject this too, we are calling on death.  How more isolated can you be than dead?  If happiness is in community, and we even reject the community and support of an all-loving all-present God, could we possibly find ourselves on a more isolated and unhappy road?  That's a road to death, a road to a cold, isolated place in which no one really wants to be.  And yet, people do it everyday.  People push friends, family, and God away.  People want to live lives where they are in complete control, where everything is subject to their terms, where they do what they want whenever they want, where they are the most powerful, where they are king, where they are happy.  That place doesn't exist.  We need to recognize that we are not in complete control and we are not all-powerful.  When we try to obtain that control, we find out that it isn't satisfying.  We aren't happy enough when we get to be as powerful as we can be.  And there is no true support system when we reach our power limit.  What person could possibly lift you back up to your unreachable power height when you've placed everyone else at such a low level?  No one.  Us humans, when we strive for power, we don't find that happiness.  We don't find love.  We certainly don't find community.  We find isolation.  No one desires to live in your kingdom.  It's very clear that we humans corrupt when we obtain a lot of power, just take a look at a history textbook.  All kingdom's fall on this earth.  We simply can't sustain a kingdom where happiness and community reside.  Also, we know that happiness isn't found in isolation either.  So where do we go if we can't establish our kingdom that we desire to have control of, we can't be happy in isolation,  and we can't create a community that won't fail?

Jesus told us of his authority.  Jesus told us of his love.  Jesus told us of his kingdom. 

Jesus holds the key to how we can live in community and live in joy, a happiness that won't fade.  If Jesus has this kingdom that holds what we desire most,  surely we want to live in that kingdom.  Luckily, he has invited us to live in it!  There's one thing though: it's his kingdom, not ours.  This means that he is king, not us.  If he is king, then we are subject to him.  He must have control.  This kingdom is offered freely to us; in fact, God came to us as Jesus so that we can become a part of it.  We have never been exposed to another kingdom like it.  All other kingdom's are a burden to live in, but his yoke is easy.  All other kingdom's that claim to be powerful have bloodlust.  This kingdom doesn't seek to destroy.  In fact, other kingdoms are their own destruction.  There is no isolation in this kingdom nor is there death!

The beauty of the kingdom of God is that all that reside within it have the utmost veneration for it's ruler and they love each other as themselves.  When you fall down, the entire kingdom is there in support.  But who ever heard of a king that is there himself?  This is the only powerful kingdom where the ruler is truly humble in that way. 

Don't continue to seek the living among the dead.  Please don't seek isolation when what you really seek is already available and found elsewhere.  Please don't seek your kingdom when we both know it will fail.  Forsake your vagabond life; quit wandering from place to place without a home.  You already have a perfect home for you.  Submit to king Jesus, a just and righteous king.  Live in his kingdom where you will find community, joy, love, and rest.  Our inevitable death and isolation from God was paid by none other than Jesus himself, so that we can live in his perfect kingdom forever.

Welcome light

Cerebral whirlwind.
Banyan thoughts intertwine with disconsolate weight.
That's fine.  I'll wait.
I've collapsed to the harsh unyielding ground.
It's welcomed now.
Aspirations relinquished.
It's easier this way.
Dismay.
Face down, the weight should subside soon.
Time elapse.  Midnight to noon.

Where was the appeal?
Was it ever there?
The feel:
Constrained.
Confined.
From the cold soil,
The roots have coiled.

The familiar warmth beckons.
Light.
What does it look like?

It's now or never.
Eradication:
A worthwhile endeavour.
Roots decay and crumble.
Where has the weight gone?
Lifted.  But can I carry on?

Rise.
Welcome light.
An old friend embraced, a weight erased.
From content contempt to bliss abound.
Life has sprung from this lifeless ground.

What "Ishmael" could have been

I recently read a plot summary for a philosophical novel titled Ishmael.  I view the book (or summary I guess) as flawed and I do not agree with all of its ideas because I view it through the lens of the Gospel.  Nevertheless, the following is a collection of some of the things that the author said, but has been altered (and very much so) by me.  It is quite clear that the Gospel changes Daniel Quinn's story drastically.

The fall of man.  The fruit from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil provides God with the knowledge of who shall live and who shall die--knowledge which He needs to rule the world (so says Quinn).  The fruit only nourishes God though (another Quinn idea).  If man were to eat from this tree, he might think that he gains God's wisdom (without actually doing so) and consequently destroy the world himself through his arrogance.  Thus, we are familiar with the warning that man must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil or he will certainly die.  Despite prior warning, we, man, rendered ourselves above the laws governing life.  Having ate the fruit, we decided that we should be God, that we know better than Him.

We produce enormous food surpluses, which allows us to thwart God.  We decide when we should go hungry and when we should eat!  "When you have more food than you need, then God has no power over you"-- this is what man thinks.  So we declare that we are "those who know good and evil".  Meaning, we think that we rule the world.  We try to take the place of God, never realizing that it is better to live in His hand than to die.  Man thinks "the world belongs to man" but really man should declare "man belongs to God".

Man thought the world was made for them and that man is here to conquer and rule the world.  Man thought that they could bring about paradise this way (and remember: direction, not intention, determines destination).  But we forget: paradise was already given.  By attempting to create our own paradise, we have not accomplished it.  Man, actually sent himself out of paradise in attempt to make his own better paradise.  Man, no matter how hard he labors to save the world, is just going to go on defiling and spoiling it. 

Reconciliation is the only answer.  Jesus bridged that gap.  God went from paradise to our rotting land in order to bring us back to paradise.  Our searching will never amount to anything without Jesus, our Guide.  Our purpose, thus our joy and fulfillment, will never be found when we are out of place.  This is why we are never satisfied.  We must live once again in God's hand, a place in which we don't often see as appealing because we humans love to be in control.  We must realize that all other destinations are imperfect and fleeting.  Our only hope and true, lasting pleasure is found simply where God is.  When we embrace Jesus and what He has done, only then can we stand in undeserved privilege, confidently rejoicing in hope of the glory of God.

“You’ll be disappointed when you uncover that candle and realize there was never a flame there” or “Only the Son can’t be put out, so let’s get rid of all these psuedo-lights”

As I walked alone after sundown the other night, I watched cars passing by.  For a moment, I thought about the possibility of the drivers not seeing me.  When crossing the street, I thought about how light works. Despite the darkness, the headlights force the drivers to be aware of me in the street.  Human eyes focus on where light shines. In darkness, a light behind an object that is directly in front of you will only allow you to see a silhouette.  This is despite the fact that the object is closer and in the foreground.  I think that God is teaching us some things.

While on Earth, with the Roman Empire’s strong-handed oppression crushing Israel, eyes started to focus on Jesus.  Even with all of the forced pain and suffering, people started to see past the immediate silhouette of Roman oppression and unto the bright light, thus dominating darkness.  “The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.” (John 1:5).  Even death couldn’t own Jesus.  The world’s effort to put out Jesus failed.

We should remember that light really shines in darkness.  There is a reason why Jesus spent time with the people he did. Pharisees asked the disciples about this behavior in Luke 5 and Jesus said, “Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick.”  We must not be like the Pharisees.  All too often we sit on our high horse behind our four walls of christianity, completely disconnected from others.  Have you ever covered a lit candle in a jar?  It’s the preferred method to snuff it out.  You won’t even smell the smoke.

You're not alone. I'm sure of it.

Lately, all I see on Facebook and Tumblr is hopelessness.  I see broken people. They have been abandoned by friends, families, and significant others.  I see cries for help, support, and love.   I wish they would give me just a moment of their time to listen to some things I would like to share with them.  These things are, quite frankly, stuff they either say they don’t want to hear or stuff they have only heard some twisted version of.  I’ll start with a quote:

     “And they don’t want to go back to religion and they don’t see the difference between religion and the Gospel.” - Timothy Keller

Please hear me out.  You have probably had someone tell you to “go to church” before or tell you something like “you need God” etc.  If not, I know this is most likely something you have heard of before or you are familiar with.  Anyway, there is probably a huge difference between what you have heard about church and God and what I’m going to tell you.

You may have been told that Christianity is something you do that gets you to Heaven or saves you from Hell, a place you’re headed to because you “do bad things”.  Or possibly that it’s a bunch of rules you have to follow.  Maybe you have heard that it’s about being a “good boy” or “good girl” and abstaining from doing “bad” things.  You’ve been told that it is all about morality.  To me, those things sound like “religion”.  Like the quote above says, you don’t want to be a part of that.  Neither do I.   

Ironically, the Gospel is something much different. A lot of churches, unfortunately, don’t teach or understand the Gospel like they should.  The Gospel or “Good News” is something so great that I would have to sit down with you and talk about it, only then could I do more than merely scratch the surface.  The Gospel is something that is definitely not boring or hateful or condemning like some so-called “Christians” or churches preach.  The Gospel is the reason I’m not hopeless.  It’s what pumps life into my body.  It has changed me to the core and it’s something I want you to experience too.  It has changed the way I view circumstances, people, nature, and life in general.  

The Gospel is Jesus.  You have probably heard about him before.  Maybe from some movie that’s about him.  Or maybe that Christians talk about him a lot.  Or maybe even somewhere between explicatives.  From a glance, Jesus won’t make sense to a lot of people, or anybody really.  Even in his day people were confused about him, so they followed him around to listen to him and to try to understand what he was all about.  He was the humblest of men, but more than that.  He was someone that would spend time with the lowest of people, people who were diseased and rejected by society.  These people were very important to him.  He showed them compassion.  He cared for them.  He loved them.  He spent time with undesirable people and people that communities had given up on: tax collectors, prostitutes you name it.  He stood up for the broken, the cast aside, the forgotten, the unloved, the helpless, and the hopeless.  He spoke of new life, of fresh starts, of purpose, of compassion, of humility, of justice, of righteousness, of love, and of hope.  People tried to rid his name from history.  Why do people feel threatened by a man with the greatest message of all time?  In his day, the corrupt, the self-righteous, the hypocrites, and the tyrannical all felt threatened by him and his message.  This included the most religious people of his day.  So how is Jesus and his Gospel different than religion?  Religion says be good enough and you’ll go to heaven.  Religion says follow these rules.  Religion says it’s all about you.  Religion says you’re better than those that aren’t religious.  Religion has a checklist.  Religion is self-righteous.  Religion isn’t humble.

     “The Gospel is news not advice. Advice is counsel about what to do. News is something that has already happened.” - Timothy Keller

The Gospel says that we can’t do this on our own, but that their is One that already has taken on our brokenness, namely Jesus.  He suffered and died for us, something that we can never neglect and must embrace.  He solved our tragic insufficiency.  He bridged the gap for us, leading us into a new life that is better than anything we could have ever imagined.  God came down as Jesus, died, and rose to life so that we could follow His footsteps back to be with Him for eternity.  His footsteps are a beeline straight to Glory.  Some ask why Christians can’t just die now.  To proclaim that we are simply waiting for death and a new life, is to miss the point of the Gospel.

     “It’s comforting to know that God is with us and is good just as our lives are today, that we don’t need to wait for some imagined preferable future in order to experience God’s loving us moment to moment” - Dave Schmelzer

You see, our new life starts now and only a selfish heart would keep this good news to themselves.  Our God desires for us to live in communion with Him, all of us.  This road may seem impossible, but we don’t have to worry about travelling up the road Jesus laid out for us because He is with us. He will lead us if we are willing.  He is the way, the only way, and He is the truth.  Following some other path would result in falling off the side of this road, falling short of God’s plans and intentions for our lives.  Following others on any other path or direction would be following a lie.  Leading others on any other path or direction would only be leading them into brokenness and heartache.  

Only God can let us into his home and, through Jesus, we have a personal invitation.  Getting your name on the list, if you will, is impossible for an enemy and could not be easier for a friend.  He’ll write a friend’s name down Himself.  If we are like His bride or like His children, His home is ours as well.  How great it will be to live in a perfect, complete household.  No more broken homes!  There will be no divorce because He is the perfect groom and He has chosen us, the Church, as His undeserving bride whom He loves unconditionally.  We are beautiful in His eyes.  Let us not reject His love.  Let us not be led astray or reject His lead to His perfect home.  Let Him sweep us off of our feet.  I look forward to the day that we will sit at His table and feast together.

There is hope in Christ Jesus

God, hear my prayer.
God, please hear their cries!  I hear their need for love. I hear their need for acceptance.  They have unveiled their brokenness for all to see.  They have given up on all this world has to offer.  Their desperation is clear in their words.  They don’t know to what or whom to look.  Continually, I see them try to fill themselves with temporary pleasures.  They’ve noticed these things’ brevity and have found it unnerving, knowing well that these fillers were all for naught.  Please, God, meet them in their despair!  Shock the afflicted with your love.  Make your presence a reality in their lives.  Show them that all hope is not lost.  Reveal to them that there is One who can make them whole, namely Jesus, through whom all sin was borne and through whom there is life.  Amen.