Commitment and faithfulness

  So often we question God on why he doesn't respond to our prayers the way we want him to.  "I've held up my end God, where are you now?".  There is a problem with this mentality.  It is much more than a simple misunderstanding of God's timing.  Deep down, when we think this way, we are questioning his commitment and faithfulness to us.  There is no one more faithful than him.
Throughout the scriptures, in almost every single book, we see that we as people turn away from God.  But we also see that when we cry out and turn back to God, he is still there and embraces us with open arms.
  Jesus's commitment to the apostles despite their numerous shortcomings is second to none.  Before facing his eventual brutal humiliation, flogging, and crucifixion, we see him under tremendous stress, sweating blood and asking if there is "any other way".  He walked directly to the cross, meeting death with a kiss.  Yes, he overcame death, something only he could accomplish, but we cannot disregard the amount of commitment he has for us.  In the Great Commission at the end of Matthew, Jesus says that he is with his disciples until the end of the age.
  Our mentality of "I've held up my end God, where are you now" can lead to, and even attempt to justify, things like divorce.  Things aren't going the way you want so you give up.  Divorce is a break in commitment, a grasp for control, and a desire for self.  Divorce says that God won't come through.
  In Hosea, we see that Hosea is told to marry Gomer, a prostitute.  Over and over Hosea pursues Gomer, grabbing her from lovers' arms.  As hard as it is to swallow Hosea's story, it tells us of God's unfailing commitment to us.
  The beautiful thing is that, despite our unfaithfulness to him, he remains faithful (2 Timothy 2:13).  Unlike all other relationships in our lives, God doesn't dip out when things get tough.  God always accepts us with overflowing forgiveness.  God is jealous for us because he wants us.  We cheat on him constantly.  He pursues us when we run.  He loves us even after all the unfaithfulness.  Take heart!  He will come through.  He will incline his ear to us when we cry out.  Our loved ones may pass, and surely we will suffer, but he is with us and is fully committed to us.

"For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need." Hebrews 4:15-16

The Gravity of God

Like planets and stars, the biggest things in this universe have their own gravity.  Likewise, I think God has gravity.  I think that our wandering selves need to gravitate toward him and get caught in his grasp.  I believe that we struggle and fight the weight of glory all the time, desperately wanting to keep control and power and not let God have it.  I think most of us really become aware of God's gravity at our lowest point.  When we hit rock-bottom and are crushed, we sometimes finally let go and God has His way, his perfect way that may not always make sense to us.  It is this "poor in spirit" attitude, the realization that we can't do this on our own, that we need.  I think that, possibly, God is so big, our orbit is so long, and our vision is so near-sighted that we aren't capable of understanding the path that we are on.  But with God at the center, we can be confident that we are safe in His control.  That, even when we are broken and confused, He knows where we are headed.  We can find comfort in this "For God has not destined us for wrath, but to obtain salvation through our Lord Jesus Christ,  who died for us so that whether we are awake or asleep we might live with him" (1 Thessalonians 5:9-10).  We are assured that, through Jesus, our future is secure.  Without Jesus, we are helplessly wandering off into the darkness looking for whatever is next, looking for some place to call home.  All the while, God has set up a place for us, a place of purpose, love, and community, a place with no more pain and no more death.  May we keep Him at the center.  Amen.

My praises unto Thee

I can't do this on my own.
O, I can't do this on my own!
Hope seems faint.
Please bring reality.
I'm just a broken saint
struggling with a dichotomy
between troubled concern and apathy.

O, comfort seems so distant
and I want peace this instant,
but I remember what you've done.
You fought these same battles
and you won.

I can't forget what you said
because I can't disregard a man that once was dead.
You said you'd always be there,
but sometimes life seems too hard to bare
and I forget that you care.

Please be gentle
for I am weak.
I know you're merciful
even when things look bleak.

So I pray
that this pain and sorrow
that's here today
can be used tomorrow
for me to say,
"that's my Christ whom you should follow".
Because when my hope began to decay,
and I would weep and wallow
in my sorrow and my misery,
my God was there to swallow death with victory.
I'm no longer hollow for Jesus saved me.

I was chained to my pain,
but my cries were not in vain.
Jesus came and broke my chains.
I will sing to my King
for I am free.
My praises unto Thee,
God almighty, for eternity!

Isolation Kingdom

There's a book called Into the Wild.  It's a true story about a guy who left his family and all real connection with people and lived the life of a vagabond.  He ends up in the Alaskan wilderness where he dies.  I think the most memorable thing from the book is something that the guy actually wrote in his Journal: "Happiness only real when shared."

After pushing everyone and everything away, he found himself alone.  I think that he desired to be alone.  Once he finally arrived at nearly the epitome of solitude, he felt lonesome and took note of it.  He may have been searching for happiness, but when he got to the place that he thought he would find it he was severely disappointed.  He died alone in the cold of the Alaskan wilderness alone and unhappy.  He starved to death out there.  But food was not the only thing in which he found himself starved.  He had ripped out community.  He had ripped out family.  He had ripped out friendship.  He had ripped out communication.  He had ripped out love.  Oh the emptiness he must have felt!  He had no source of replenishment.  When he found himself completely drained, he had no support, nothing to give him hope.  A note was found at his base camp.  It was an urgent plea for any passerby to stay put until he returned again.  That note wasn't found until it was too late. 

Pushing people and problems away is never a solution.  Life cannot be sustained in solitude.  Happiness, however temporary, is found in community.  The traveler had chose solitude, but what if solitude is not a choice?  What if you are the one who is abandoned?  What happens when you are deserted and are on empty?  How do you refuel when you can't pick yourself up and you're all alone?

After Jesus's resurrection, at the very end of Matthew 28 Jesus says that he is always with us.  This statement would be empty if it came from anyone other than Jesus.  The man was just brutally killed and was as dead as can be.  And yet, Jesus was there, alive in every sense of the word.  Not only that, but he had just announced his authority.  I'm led to believe him completely.

Isolation is not an option.  Jesus has shown us the importance of community.  The good that comes from it is undeniable.  A community that can bear each others burdens and help each other pull through the most difficult times is one to be sought after.  However, when we find ourselves all alone we should be reminded that we are never truly alone.  Jesus is with us.  If we reject this too, we are calling on death.  How more isolated can you be than dead?  If happiness is in community, and we even reject the community and support of an all-loving all-present God, could we possibly find ourselves on a more isolated and unhappy road?  That's a road to death, a road to a cold, isolated place in which no one really wants to be.  And yet, people do it everyday.  People push friends, family, and God away.  People want to live lives where they are in complete control, where everything is subject to their terms, where they do what they want whenever they want, where they are the most powerful, where they are king, where they are happy.  That place doesn't exist.  We need to recognize that we are not in complete control and we are not all-powerful.  When we try to obtain that control, we find out that it isn't satisfying.  We aren't happy enough when we get to be as powerful as we can be.  And there is no true support system when we reach our power limit.  What person could possibly lift you back up to your unreachable power height when you've placed everyone else at such a low level?  No one.  Us humans, when we strive for power, we don't find that happiness.  We don't find love.  We certainly don't find community.  We find isolation.  No one desires to live in your kingdom.  It's very clear that we humans corrupt when we obtain a lot of power, just take a look at a history textbook.  All kingdom's fall on this earth.  We simply can't sustain a kingdom where happiness and community reside.  Also, we know that happiness isn't found in isolation either.  So where do we go if we can't establish our kingdom that we desire to have control of, we can't be happy in isolation,  and we can't create a community that won't fail?

Jesus told us of his authority.  Jesus told us of his love.  Jesus told us of his kingdom. 

Jesus holds the key to how we can live in community and live in joy, a happiness that won't fade.  If Jesus has this kingdom that holds what we desire most,  surely we want to live in that kingdom.  Luckily, he has invited us to live in it!  There's one thing though: it's his kingdom, not ours.  This means that he is king, not us.  If he is king, then we are subject to him.  He must have control.  This kingdom is offered freely to us; in fact, God came to us as Jesus so that we can become a part of it.  We have never been exposed to another kingdom like it.  All other kingdom's are a burden to live in, but his yoke is easy.  All other kingdom's that claim to be powerful have bloodlust.  This kingdom doesn't seek to destroy.  In fact, other kingdoms are their own destruction.  There is no isolation in this kingdom nor is there death!

The beauty of the kingdom of God is that all that reside within it have the utmost veneration for it's ruler and they love each other as themselves.  When you fall down, the entire kingdom is there in support.  But who ever heard of a king that is there himself?  This is the only powerful kingdom where the ruler is truly humble in that way. 

Don't continue to seek the living among the dead.  Please don't seek isolation when what you really seek is already available and found elsewhere.  Please don't seek your kingdom when we both know it will fail.  Forsake your vagabond life; quit wandering from place to place without a home.  You already have a perfect home for you.  Submit to king Jesus, a just and righteous king.  Live in his kingdom where you will find community, joy, love, and rest.  Our inevitable death and isolation from God was paid by none other than Jesus himself, so that we can live in his perfect kingdom forever.

Welcome light

Cerebral whirlwind.
Banyan thoughts intertwine with disconsolate weight.
That's fine.  I'll wait.
I've collapsed to the harsh unyielding ground.
It's welcomed now.
Aspirations relinquished.
It's easier this way.
Dismay.
Face down, the weight should subside soon.
Time elapse.  Midnight to noon.

Where was the appeal?
Was it ever there?
The feel:
Constrained.
Confined.
From the cold soil,
The roots have coiled.

The familiar warmth beckons.
Light.
What does it look like?

It's now or never.
Eradication:
A worthwhile endeavour.
Roots decay and crumble.
Where has the weight gone?
Lifted.  But can I carry on?

Rise.
Welcome light.
An old friend embraced, a weight erased.
From content contempt to bliss abound.
Life has sprung from this lifeless ground.

What "Ishmael" could have been

I recently read a plot summary for a philosophical novel titled Ishmael.  I view the book (or summary I guess) as flawed and I do not agree with all of its ideas because I view it through the lens of the Gospel.  Nevertheless, the following is a collection of some of the things that the author said, but has been altered (and very much so) by me.  It is quite clear that the Gospel changes Daniel Quinn's story drastically.

The fall of man.  The fruit from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil provides God with the knowledge of who shall live and who shall die--knowledge which He needs to rule the world (so says Quinn).  The fruit only nourishes God though (another Quinn idea).  If man were to eat from this tree, he might think that he gains God's wisdom (without actually doing so) and consequently destroy the world himself through his arrogance.  Thus, we are familiar with the warning that man must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil or he will certainly die.  Despite prior warning, we, man, rendered ourselves above the laws governing life.  Having ate the fruit, we decided that we should be God, that we know better than Him.

We produce enormous food surpluses, which allows us to thwart God.  We decide when we should go hungry and when we should eat!  "When you have more food than you need, then God has no power over you"-- this is what man thinks.  So we declare that we are "those who know good and evil".  Meaning, we think that we rule the world.  We try to take the place of God, never realizing that it is better to live in His hand than to die.  Man thinks "the world belongs to man" but really man should declare "man belongs to God".

Man thought the world was made for them and that man is here to conquer and rule the world.  Man thought that they could bring about paradise this way (and remember: direction, not intention, determines destination).  But we forget: paradise was already given.  By attempting to create our own paradise, we have not accomplished it.  Man, actually sent himself out of paradise in attempt to make his own better paradise.  Man, no matter how hard he labors to save the world, is just going to go on defiling and spoiling it. 

Reconciliation is the only answer.  Jesus bridged that gap.  God went from paradise to our rotting land in order to bring us back to paradise.  Our searching will never amount to anything without Jesus, our Guide.  Our purpose, thus our joy and fulfillment, will never be found when we are out of place.  This is why we are never satisfied.  We must live once again in God's hand, a place in which we don't often see as appealing because we humans love to be in control.  We must realize that all other destinations are imperfect and fleeting.  Our only hope and true, lasting pleasure is found simply where God is.  When we embrace Jesus and what He has done, only then can we stand in undeserved privilege, confidently rejoicing in hope of the glory of God.

“You’ll be disappointed when you uncover that candle and realize there was never a flame there” or “Only the Son can’t be put out, so let’s get rid of all these psuedo-lights”

As I walked alone after sundown the other night, I watched cars passing by.  For a moment, I thought about the possibility of the drivers not seeing me.  When crossing the street, I thought about how light works. Despite the darkness, the headlights force the drivers to be aware of me in the street.  Human eyes focus on where light shines. In darkness, a light behind an object that is directly in front of you will only allow you to see a silhouette.  This is despite the fact that the object is closer and in the foreground.  I think that God is teaching us some things.

While on Earth, with the Roman Empire’s strong-handed oppression crushing Israel, eyes started to focus on Jesus.  Even with all of the forced pain and suffering, people started to see past the immediate silhouette of Roman oppression and unto the bright light, thus dominating darkness.  “The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.” (John 1:5).  Even death couldn’t own Jesus.  The world’s effort to put out Jesus failed.

We should remember that light really shines in darkness.  There is a reason why Jesus spent time with the people he did. Pharisees asked the disciples about this behavior in Luke 5 and Jesus said, “Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick.”  We must not be like the Pharisees.  All too often we sit on our high horse behind our four walls of christianity, completely disconnected from others.  Have you ever covered a lit candle in a jar?  It’s the preferred method to snuff it out.  You won’t even smell the smoke.